i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
