Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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