is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
