You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's shark week go big or go home
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
