Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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