At least make sure they are 18
Why
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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