i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
