i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Bring me that man meat
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
