So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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