The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
