The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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