well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
