JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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