Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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