She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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