Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
