Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
