Got a toothbrush?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I want her autograph on my taint
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
