hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
