dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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