yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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