so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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