i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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