if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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