Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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