So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
