so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
