guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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