i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
