he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
