I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm getting married
To pizza
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
