The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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