If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
