Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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