Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
