Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
