Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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