I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
