thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
