I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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