a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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