walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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