alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I need moral support for this bender
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
