Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
