Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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