Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
