One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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