I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
