wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
