Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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