put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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