I cannot find my penis.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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