so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
4 words: hood of his car
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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