this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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