who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
