Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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