The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
