they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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