I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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