oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
