check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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