For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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