She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
