but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You made out with two different species that night
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
