and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
