haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
